Seen By Me
Warm fires, a working book title, mammogram, messy action and the quiet practice of saying, “I’m proud of me.”
I’m cheekily fitting this into the space between a birthday party outing, endless washing and putting the veggies in the oven for our lamb roast tonight.
It’s freezing today - my first taste of a Victorian winter! 🥶 The fire is going, we had our first yummy casserole and roasted marshmallows last night and I’m piling extra doonas on the kids’ beds. I’m a cold frog and am constantly trying to layer them up, as they repeatedly insist that they’re hot. No idea how. They take after their father in that department, or is it just boys?
I took the below photo on a morning walk to the river with my Chocolate Labrador Winnie this week. The air is deliciously crisp on these walks.
Peace has briefly settled over the house as my eldest has miraculously rallied his bros to go collect wood. Actually, I think they’re back already. That didn’t last anywhere near long enough. Oh, false alarm, they’re gone again. I’ll steal some more moments.
I had a mammogram this week. Have you had one before? I didn’t have any particular concerns, I just wanted to be careful and get the girls checked out. It actually wasn’t too bad - squished pancakes, but not painful - and over in 10 minutes. I’m proud of myself for booking in and getting it done. I had an annual skin check this week too, and recently an overall wellbeing blood test. I’m keen to take care of my health proactively rather than reactively in this midlife season, and beyond.
“I’m proud of myself.” We don’t say that much, do we? I had a coach ask me “what are you proud of?” on a weekly basis recently and gosh it was powerful. I’ve done a lot of gratitude work in the last 8 years and that’s had a huge impact on my daily life but identifying and focusing on what I’m proud of has hit differently.
I’ve been asking my boys this question too and I find they tend to want to shift it away from themselves, mentioning something that someone else did that they’re proud of, which is lovely, but not quite the point. I want to support them to build inner pride, self esteem and self belief for not just the big life achievements but the seemingly small everyday moments as well.
Naming what I’m proud of is not ego, it helps me to see myself. - Me
Development! I’m so excited to report that my book has a working title! Seen Again: A journey to your true self through the light and dark of motherhood.
I pitched it to two publishers on Friday, courtesy of the Expert Author Community Pitch Party, which was such a cool (and terrifying) experience! I’m proud of myself for that too this week. Here’s a short work-in-progress blurb about Seen Again:
Who am I now? It’s a question asked quietly by mothers in the mirror everywhere as they navigate the identity shift of a lifetime: the transition from woman to woman + mother, known as matrescence.
Without understanding or support, the profound changes intrinsic to matrescence often leave women feeling lost, invisible, and wondering: Is it normal to feel this way?
Benita Bensch knows this experience intimately, having lived through it and witnessed it time and again in her work as a coach to mothers. This sparked a journey of self exploration, where Benita learned to gently hold both the light and the dark, and discovered that we’re never truly lost; only walking away from our true selves.
Through raw, real stories from Benita and other mothers, Seen Again will guide you from the darkness of burnout and invisibility back to your ‘inner campfire’ to feel seen, connected, and celebrated for the incredible woman, and mother, you are.
I’m considering sharing my draft chapters of Seen Again with you as I finish them. Let me know if you would like that!
"The cracks are where the light gets in." — Leonard Cohen
What I’m...
Listening to: WhatsApp audio notes from my friends. This is the main way we communicate these days! You too? I’m a shocker for consistently breaking the 5 minute limit though. Yep I’m one of those friends. Brevity is still a work in progress.
Reading: I recently finished Unseen: The secret world of chronic illness by Jacinta Parsons, who lives with Crohn’s Disease. I learned so much from this book and thoroughly enjoy how Jacinta writes. Amongst other complex themes, there was a theme of grappling with identity that ties in with my interest and work with mothers and women in farming families. What drew me to this book was wanting to explore the parallels of invisible mental illness with invisible physical illness. Jacinta says that “when an illness is largely unseen, the way you are automatically identified by others can make any decision to assert your own identity quite complex.”
Watching: I started watching Life & Beth on Disney Plus while doing an online grocery order the other night. It’s intriguing, easy. Amy Schumer cracks me up.
Loving: Having Adam home after him working away for a good chunk of time. Makes the world of difference in our home! ❤️
Not Loving: Winter washing… and winter hasn’t even started. I think I’m going to have to invest in a dryer for the first time in my life. Any recommendations?
In closing, I want to encourage you to take imperfect action this week. Sometimes I refer to it as messy action. If there’s something you’re fiddling and fussing around with, procrastinating on, or floundering to make a decision on, take an imperfect, messy, step. This is a reminder for me too. Done is better than perfect!
Go well this week!
Big love, Benita xx