Fear, Flanelette, And The Circle of Control
Real talk on fear, stories, nature, and why the chaos at home didn’t make the photo cut
The weather today is how I imagine a Victorian winter: 7 degrees, raining, snuggly.
Bruce, in his 11yr old wisdom tells this Qld’er, “You’ve got to get used to it Mum.” 😂
True Bruce, very true!
It’s perfect writing weather. 👌🏻
On that, we can tell ourselves that it’s the perfect weather for this or that but really, it’s all just a made up story in our minds.
As Trevor Hendy says, and it’s interesting to ponder: The conditions are always perfect.
Circle of Control
The weather? It’s out of our control.
The stories we tell ourselves often enough to believe? They’re ours to own.
This week I’ve had several conversations with one of my boys about the circle of control and focusing on what’s within ours.
He’s been struggling with fears of what could happen to me when I go away (plane crash, car crash, murder, etc). He thinks if I stay home nothing bad can ever happen to me. 🥹
I had the same fears when I was little and really, they haven’t changed much.
What’s different now is learning to give less energy to my fears and focusing on what’s in my control: my thoughts, my attitude, my perspective - to name a few.
The conditions are always perfect. - Trevor Hendy
Sharing Your Voice
How would you like to write a chapter in an annual publication that supports women who write, be a published author and have your work seen by readers around the world?
More than that, would you like to be part of a supportive creative community in which your stories matter?
If so, you might like to consider the opportunity for your words to be included in Anthologia, published by The Kind Press. Anthologia Issue 2 will be published as a beautiful paperback edition in 2025, available through all major online retailers and for order from bookstores with distribution in place.
I’m delighted to share that I’m contributing a chapter in this issue of Anthologia and they have an opening for another contributing author. Go here: https://www.thekindpress.com/anthologia for more information.
This Week’s Snaps
My snaps this week are from my walk to the river on the -2C morning. If you haven’t had the capacity to be out in nature this week, hopefully these give you an escape route in your mind.
I share nature photos because I want to share its beauty, it’s where I feel most free, aligned and alive. It also helps keep me mentally, emotionally and physically healthy.
Plus, if I took photos in my house right now, they’d be of my wildly uninspiring kitchen sink, a half-drunk coffee mug, piles of unfolded clothes, and our still-half-unpacked rental with no artwork, no family photos, just lived-in chaos. So yep, I reckon this is much better!
What I’m...
Listening to: I was drawn to listening to this ‘Country Schools Crisis’ episode of the Galah podcast this week. Schooling has been a huge point of conversation in our home in the past 5 years and part of our relocation decision was to have more local highschool options. I agree with Annabelle and Gabrielle in this episode - whatever schooling path you choose for your children I don’t think you ever really know if you’ve made the right decision!
Reading: Unfortunately there were no books held in these hot little hands these week. I did read a lot of emails and school forms though!
Thinking About: The book chapter I’m working on and the long drive we’re doing tomorrow for an exciting Bruce school thing on Tuesday.
Loving: Heavy blankets and flanelette sheets have made it onto our beds this week. I love them! It seems flannies are the great divider - one of our boys can’t stand them, a few others love them. Are you in or out of the flannie camp?
Not Loving: Being sick this week. The kids’ cold finally got me earlier in the week and it’s progressed into more of a sinus thing now, which is not a typical thing for me. Be gone, I say!
Real Talk
I looked back at the photos in last week’s post and winced at the thought that I may be giving off a wholesome-insta-worthy-always-got-my-shit-together-vibe.
The last thing I want to do is portray an unrealistic picture of how things really are my life, or have anyone feeling less-than.
For example, the behind-the-scenes truth of the damper photo is that I didn’t really feel like making it last Saturday evening. After being in the kitchen half the day I actually wanted to sit and relax. However, my son Myles loves to cook and he was so excited to make it with me that I decided we’d do it.
Sharing authentically is tricky.
It feels like walking a tightrope - teetering on the wire of sharing uplifting, picture-perfect content vs the grittiness, often mundane, of daily life.
Believe me, it’s big beautiful chaos in this house and to be honest, mostly pretty challening.
There is love and fun and lots of hugs (4/6 of us are huggers in this family) but a good deal of the time I feel like I’m fighting…
Fighting…
For my wellbeing,
Against the wave of ‘stuff’ that enters this home, so easily fills the spaces and threatens to consume me,
For space for me,
To maintain boundaries,
Against addictive tech,
Endless decisions,
To stay focused and remember what I’m doing (thanks poor executive functioning 😜)
To advocate for my needs and everyone else’s,
To raise kind, courageous, unique individuals while keeping my health and sanity, and contributing in this life as a woman and mother.
I’m always trying to share what’s real without staying too stuck in the hard.
I like to share the and.
If I ever stray too far one way, please let me know.
With love and blessings this week,
Benita xx